Braces-Inspired Poetry for the Holidays

Lynn, the owner at DentaKit.com and moderator of ArchWired.com, had adult braces several years ago at holiday time. Her orthodontic experiences inspired these poems – enjoy!

The Night Before Christmas for Braces Wearers

Twas the night before Christmas, and I’d been put through my paces, To cook, clean and wrap with my teeth set in braces.

The cookies so crunchy, the roast beef so chewy, But alas I must eat food that’s softer and gooey.

My family munched on their crackers and chips; (Well, those only would have gone straight to my hips).

With my chompers a-hurtin from ear to ear, It’s been hard to come up with that old Christmas cheer.

But I know that it all will pay off, all of this grief, When two Christmases from now, Santa brings me straight teeth!

This year, however, I’ll cut him some slack, And wish for a case of that good dental wax!

So goodbye crooked teeth, And spaces too tight!

Merry Christmas to all, And to all a good bite!

Ortho, Ortho, Ortho 
(to the tune of Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel)

I had a maloclussion
I hated every day
The ortho said he’d fix it
And to him I did say,

Oh ortho, ortho, ortho
How much more do I pay?
When will my teeth be straightened?
What can I eat? Oy vey!

And so I wore my braces
Brushed after every meal
I also wore elastics
Yes, I was no schlameel.

Oh ortho, ortho, ortho
When is my next appointment?
And for this awful canker sore
Do you have any ointment?

I couldn’t chew the brisket
Or bite the chocolate gelt
At least there were the latkes
In my mouth they did melt!

Oh ortho, ortho, ortho
I need some dental wax
And please give me a lot sir,
For these painful train tracks!

So now it’s two years later
My braces have come out
As I light my menorah, I think:
A miracle happened in my mouth!

Oh ortho, ortho, ortho
How much more do I pay?
When will my teeth be straightened?
What can I eat? Oy vey!

 

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